I have reasons to believe that a relationship (a real one) is like owning a car.
Here are some reasons why I think thus.
One reason is that you can decide to buy a car or have it dumped on you. You may wake up to the day where you go and buy yourself one or unfortunately someone special wills one to you or even more bizarre you inherit it.
How it relates to relationship is that, you may have been betrothed to someone against your will by reason of culture or religion or decide willingly to go into one or inherit one (wife) from your father (yes it still happens).
Another similarity is that you don’t really need a car to survive(you have two feet), but you need one to prolong your existence add value to your life and cannot do much on time without one. Same as a relationship. You can pretty much survive without one, but you may feel empty or as some say ‘feel like something is missing’.
One other reason is that they are both status measures. A car tells people the way you are financially buoyant, your style and pretty much the way you care about your stuffs(and maybe the people you are responsible for *source needed*). While a relationship shows how responsible you really are and pretty much what your car tells people too.
They don’t come cheap (financially, emotionally) and require the question of *do I still want/need this* as time goes on. However, a huge continuous financial investment will make both burdensome and most likely termination/sale.
A car and a relationship will change the way some people treat you. I think that is self explanatory!
Both a car and a relationship run on fuel. While a car runs on gas, a relationship runs on *Love* (the real one where things that your single self finds disgusting really doesn’t really matter that much all the time anymore. E.g doing each other’s underwear). Let me add here that not only fuel runs a car. There’s oils (trust), (am not saying change your oil and change your trust, instead make it keep going),maintenance(doing stuffs together) some certain parts like side and rear view mirrors(friends), washing/PDAs either by force because its dirty/for reassurance purpose; or just for it to look good to onlookers, (hahahaha) and so on (I can literary write a book on just this part) etc.
The list goes on and on but one thing is as you both ride along the smooth, bumpy, freezing, dusty, wet and slippery roads in life remember that you can only ride cars on gravity’s terms (any other circumstance it would be called something else (airplanes/against gravity) so remember the ground rules of humanity to keep you grounded, thus decide whether your relationship is a front wheel drive or a back wheel drive(importantly who is what wheel) or a 4WD (OMG that will be a lot of support wouldn’t it). Decide if it will run on PMS, hydrogen, or water or whatever or a hybrid (imagine a 4wd as a hybrid Jeez, that’s like KM and PW #royalty) so that you can know how to navigate to get to your destination (believing you are both headed the same way*real relationship*).
By the way, about the heading I feel that when  the term relationship was coined, there were no cars only ships and whomever coined the word was definitely thinking in this same direction.
Thanks for sharing in this craziness.

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Dear reader

Hello there and welcome to my blog. I am adding a new feature which is hash tagged stuffs i see (#stuffsic). These will include pictures writings quotes may be just ordinary but for people like you and I, isn’t. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading.


My thoughts on relationships


Getting along with people can be fun and challenging especially when we do not know much about the person. Relationships are hard to build over time because it involves commitment, intentional attention, sacrifices and sometimes transformation. A lot of persons spend their time, trying to find the ‘right’ person believing that all will be perfect when they do. WRONG! What makes a fairy tale relationship isn’t lack of challenges, problems, quarrels and even threat of breakups; but the presence of these things which both parties come together to overcome together, acknowledging that they are two people with different dreams, aspirations and interests but choosing to agree together. Cinderella and prince charming stood the test of loosing each other. They both overcame by prince charming, going through the stress of using a leg of shoe to trace her. Do you have any idea how many girls he had to see before getting to her; still he had to go from house to house searching individually; abandoning other royal responsibilities, while  Cinderella had to hide that shoe in a house where she had no privacy or belongings. The frog prince had to carry a ball bigger than him out of a deep well; while his future queen had to risk infection and mockery by kissing him. What if the spell wasn’t broken? All fairy tale relationships have challenges in one form or another. It’s okay to daydream of what you want; but don’t be stupid to think that diamonds in pure form are clean and sparkly and shaped? Someone had to do all these things to the dirty carbon form; but it takes one who is really in search of diamonds to recognize one in its natural form.

I like to describe relationships as two people on a ship/boat. They need the winds to take them to their destination and make their voyage worthwhile; sometimes peaceful to give them pleasant feelings reminding them of why they are both on that ship together and not with someone else; some with unkind forces that bang seriously on the body of their boat testing its durability; others so strong destroying the sails and almost everything in sight hereby exposing them to harsh weather conditions, testing how much they both can survive together( working together). As the ships/ boats undertake different voyages, and  encounter different challenges which afterwards require maintenance and repair of the boat either on the water or have to get to land to fix (some relationships require fixing while together, while others require a break to seek professional help to fix). In this ship, there are two parties; the captain and the crew; the male as the captain and female as the crew. Funny as it may sound, the captain knows the plans and the way, but requires the help of the crew to get there safely. He relies on their hard work and special skills; takes care of their welfare and takes advice as the time goes on. He puts the crew first and never leaves or abandons the ship or boat despite what happens.

Now if you don’t like the captain, whether you like the swagger of the ship and its destination, do not get on that ship! Because unless you are ready to sail the whole journey with the captain taking others and delivering reports that will help the voyage, you need not be on that ship! Again if you do not like the destination, the captain is headed, do not also get on board thinking that you would in one way or the other convince him to set sail for a different course. This applies to those people with different belief system that are parallel with each other, ridiculously thinking that they can convince them that their own belief system is better off; and try to change them to suit their own selfish personal convenience. Do not let “love” blind your senses; two people coming together should make each other better and stronger because while would you want to go through all these enhancement and sacrifices when you think you are better alone?

Tips to keep a relationship going

  1. Communication-before you jump on that boat, establish a means of communication. Let the other person know when you’re busy and available. Guys make that call and send those text messages. A lazy captain will not make it in the high seas (that is if he ever sets sail). Ladies love and appreciate a man whom despite his tight schedule calls and sends texts messages; it shows how much you really are into the whole thing and also gives the impression that you care and they cross your mind. After all how can you claim to love someone you barely call? Of course she knows that she crosses your mind, but it’s a wasted effort if you don’t tell her and make her understand by letting her know through words and actions. Besides if you don’t learn to do it now, you are going to have problems in the future when you might be far away or even more busy than present; then she might start feeling that out of sight is out of mind for you. Always keep in touch with each other; saying it out in one way or the other. Let the other person know what you are up to so that they can know they are important, help in instances where necessary and establish a state of trust. Never let your partner hear of your plans from a third-party, even if the person is your best friend. Let your secret be a secret; no telling to a third person even when you make them swear not to tell anyone the news will get to you telling you not to tell the same person you made swear.
  2. No assumptions most men like to assume that they are the only one with relevant future plans; if you open up a woman’s brain, you would be amazed of the plenty realistic plans she has and 99% of these are achievable. Not all women will slow you down by trying to get you down to commit via pregnancy and other wise; you may not even get to your destination unless a woman helps you. Girls never assume that all his friends are bad; and that they sleep with all the females around them. Some guys hardly remember the names of people around them especially girls. Always come straight forward with your plans about what you want to do with your life he most times will help, if he isn’t interested in your plans, forget it, he isn’t interested in you as much as you think. Never assume his salary is enough, your man needs assistance no matter how much he earns. You may have good intentions and plans, but he needs to see why the both of you are on that boat together. If you are not relevant to the voyage, then you should not be on that boat/ ship with him.
  3. sacrifices the brave knight had to climb one of the tallest castle towers ever using only a hair of a little girl. Rapunzel in turn had to sacrifice her hair after bearing the pain of a man climbing that high with that entire amour without making a sound. Guys try to sacrifice and change your daily program of wake up, hustle, TV (news or sports) then sleep not remembering her except you are hungry. To make a relationship a successful one, you have to come out of that comfort zone of yours. Showing up sometimes at her office to have lunch together or showing up during weekdays at her house, just to say hi or bring her flowers will really make her tick. Little things like that and turning off your phone or putting it on silent most times you are spending quality time together will give her the impression that you are giving full attention. I mean who doesn’t want attention? Shuffling between the game and her movie may be hard, but sends a good message down her complicated brain. And let her win sometimes when you guys are playing some mind games; even if she knows that you are letting her win. Ladies all men like to watch the TV at night; either news or sports. If you cannot tolerate one that does that, then you are either looking for a fake man or an alien. These give them something to talk about while with their friends and colleagues; the absence of such makes people think they are gay. Let him have the TV; you had it during the day! If you have a program to watch let him know before time, and do it nicely, or better still, buy your own. Besides a little news or sports won’t kill you. Except you want him to watch it outside at that time of the night; now that’s selfish! You can even watch the game with him.
  4. Space- Men go with gadgets; their TV and cars will always be important to them. You want to get into their life, get into sharing their maintenance time with these gadgets; then you are really making your imprint. Try not to turn off the TV while they watching a game or news; except it’s a matter of life and death. Guys allow her to take that distance trip or schooling; she won’t jump of the boat with someone who has fewer footprints than you in her life; and no she and her ex are just having a cup of tea. Remember never to assume; the more you push to her private space, the more she would move out, far from your reach. Besides you’re not the only one with an eye for good things.

In all, there isn’t really a general formula about relationships, humans are not toys. They evolve and adapt with situations. Trust God above all to teach you about a person; after all he created them.

How to live till 89

Aliceis 89-years-old and she works at her health. She is a widow and lives alone.

My husband and I just spent some time visiting my mother-in-law, Alice, and we were pleased to see that she is taking such good care of herself. We are among the lucky ones, as Alice has no cognitive problems. She still drives. I got in the car with her and did my “ride along assessment.” She’s still safe.

She keeps track of her many medications and takes them exactly as prescribed. She gets on the treadmill for 25 minutes every morning. She eats what’s good for her. Her weight is normal. She doesn’t smoke. She drinks very moderately. She does her pool exercises.

Alice understands that being healthy as an 89-year-old takes a lot of vigilance and work. What I respect is that she is willing to do the work. She’s been having some trouble with leg pain, which was diagnosed as a problem with the fibrous band along the side of the thigh (“IT band”). It probably started years ago when she had both knees replaced. As it affected her walking, she asked a doctor for some advice.

He suggested physical therapy, along with some stretches she can do at home. She got right to it. She got out of the car after the appointment and was doing the stretches as she waited while my husband and I stopped at a coffee place. As we walked back, cups in hand, we saw mom, standing by the car, one hand on it for balance, bending forward with legs crossed as directed, and working at her stretches already. Go, Alice!

Alice is determined to remain independent. She was married for 62 years and misses her husband terribly. But, she plays cards with friends, takes two classes each year at the local university extension, and reaches out to people. She makes an effort to address her lonely times. She learned to use a computer at age 86, with my patient husband teaching her.

Every day, a friend of hers sends out jokes by email and Alice reads them and laughs. She’s a pretty good joke teller, too. And if she needs information, she googles it, just like we do.

She loves her Kindle. She reads a lot and thinks it’s the greatest invention ever.

Life for Alice is not perfect, but it’s pretty good indeed. She’s planning a cruise for the family to join her for her 90th birthday celebration next year.

What can the rest of us learn from all this? We can see that there is wisdom in the prediction that “we can prevent about 80 percent of heart disease, about 90 percent of diabetes, and about 70 percent of stroke if we make the right food choices, get physical activity and don’t smoke.”

Those are the words of Walter Willett, chair of the nutrition department at the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston and professor of medicine at the Harvard Medical School. Alice is proving him right.

Alice just got back from a checkup with the doctor. She reports that her blood work is normal and other health measures are all looking good. She’s going to do a course of physical therapy for the leg pain. She’ll fit it in between social events and her date with a new guy she met recently.

I hope any of us who live to be 89 can live our lives as Alice is doing!

types of salary

1. Onion Salary – You grab it, you open it, and you cry.

2. Storm Salary – You don’t know when it’s coming or going.

3. Menstrual Salary – It comes once a month and lasts only three days.

4. Magic Salary – You touch it and it disappears.

5. Amnesia Salary – You can’t remember what you spent it on.

6. Time Travelling Salary – You spend it paying various debts even before you collect it.

Alas she tweets from the dead!

Although she died on Valentine’s Day, Goldie still apparently tweets from the great beyond!

This came to the fore when ‘Goldie’ on March 1 tweeted links to a song just released by actress and singer, Tonto Dikeh.

One of the links leads to a page on, which has a video and review of Tonto’s latest song, Jeje.

‘Goldie’ also tweeted a link on the same website to ‘King’s Firstborn’, a movie starring Tonto and Chidi Mokeme.

Same day, ‘Goldie’ tweeted a link to a film titled Adam’s Desire, starring John Dumelo and Monalisa Chinda.

On March 5, ‘Goldie’ tweeted, “WATCH: Mr Ibu in London – Nigerian MovieTube.”

On February 28, exactly 14 days after she died of a sudden headache and hypertension, ‘Goldie’ invited her friends and fans to a candlelight procession in her honour.

“Candlelight procession tomorrow Friday 1st March 2013 at 6pm. Converge at Parkview Estate Gate in Ikoyi, Lagos… Show some LOVE,” the tweet said.

These prompted some people to wonder whether Goldie had somehow ‘resurrected’.

A commentator by the Twitter handle, @NigeriaNewsDesk, wrote, “Who Is Tampering With Goldie Harvey’s Twitter Handle?” while @naija_stuff tweeted, “jagudaDOTcom: Goldie Harvey’s account now tweeting links to movies & Tonto Dike’s music.” @NL_Official asked, “Can the dead tweet? Late Goldie Harvey’s account now tweeting links to movies & Tonto Dike’s song.”

Thereafter, attacks came in torrents, with tweets asking the ‘Goldie’ to stop advertising links in her name.

Here are some of them: @TemmyTia “Can you just respect the dead and stop promoting from her account?” @tobitubora, “@GoldieHarvey why can’t you pple respect the dead. n stop using ds account to promote selfish interest. Mind u,we shall all die one day;”

@topcomfy “Is it stupidity, attention craving or sheer insanity dt’s responsible for d tweets via @GoldieHarvey ‘s handle? Shut it down!”

@AbigailMwapule “@GoldieHarvey, could you please stop these your adverts! This is total lack of respect for the dead and also for the surviving loved ones

@herdedayor “@GoldieHarvey who ever this is, it is wrong to use this handle, change it or open another. This is totally wrong.”

@relatewithpius “@GoldieHarvey my Goldie,the golden hearted gal wouldn’t do this to another person;even if she has the chance like u. She must be turning now.” SOURCe NAIJ.COM